My self esteem is so awful that after we have sex I don’t even want him to touch me. I wait for him to fall asleep then move into the living room cry on the couch and lay there until like 8AM and then usually sleep there.

I just feel so disgusting and gross. I hate my body and I feel like he only has sex with me to make me less depressed.

We very rarely have sex and he has expressed that he doesn’t care about having sex and he really only does it for me. So of course when we do have sex lately I don’t get off because all I can think about is how he probably isn’t even sexually attracted to me and he’s just having sex with me because I’m moody and sad when we don’t have sex. ( I’ve always had a super high sex drive and when I dont have sex regularly I get super self conscious).

We used to have sex all the time in the beginning of our relationship and I’m fatter and uglier than when we started dating and I feel like we don’t have it as often because I’m uglier and fatter.

Sorry for the long post I just really needed to vent about this to anyone who would listen.