Many thoughts ... baby is my fiance's second.. but my first. Sometimes i can't help but feel sad we aren't going through all these firsts together.

His son is 4, he has been such a terror lately along with me being less patient and tired these days. He doesn't listen to a word i say.. or responds with 'well, at mommy's house.....( i get to do x,y,z)' .. how do we break this ? I thought he's too young to be playin games like that but i thought wrong.. he also said his mommy 'thinks the new baby is bad. ' i know he's 4 but i feel like he must have gotten it from somewhere. I just told him that's okay, daddy and i are happy and excited for the baby. 🤷🏼‍♀️ i dunno.. i wish i had one of those super open welcoming hearts that accepts step kids as one of their own with no hesitation.. he makes it so hard sometimes, and i can't help that i feel so much stronger for this baby that will be my blood... that I'm growing and sharing my body with... that ill give birth to..

Anywho i guess im more venting than anything. I could go on. Sorry guys. Lol