I haven’t been very hormonal for 9 months but it never fails: every time my in-laws are discussed, I feel myself getting angry. I think I just get super protective of baby girl and I don’t know why. Because my in-laws are GREAT people!! I annoy myself that I have issues with them but I just can’t be myself around them. I’ve known them for 6 years and it still feels very stiff and forced. (They’re very conservative, religious people and while I’m no hell-raiser, I just wasn’t raised like that)

So now, at 38 weeks, the discussion of visitation keeps coming up because obviously new baby=new toy that everyone needs to see ASAP. I said immediate family only in the hospital and only when I say ok. That’s because mainly because I want my sister there and if I extend that invitation to mine, his sister also gets that invitation. I can be blunt/passive aggressive when tired and I’m scared that they’re going to see a whole other side of me that won’t go over well with my husband. I’m even more worried that they’ll come whenever they want and make it an entire sit-down-and-chat visit, while I’m struggling to stay awake and breastfeed and pee. Shoot me now. She’ll be here for a while, people!! Why does everyone need to see a baby fresh out the oven? I’ll never understand impeding on that bonding time between a baby and their parents.

And again, they’re great people and great in-laws so I don’t really have any right to complain. Just need to vent and hope that when baby girl is here, all of this won’t even matter. She’ll be loved for sure...smothered but loved.