Not knowing what to do with myself??

So I'm on holiday from work for another week and I'm currently at 8 weeks 2 days pregnant. And I'm going insane because I feel so unwell, I was sick today and I can barely stomach anything. Any point I get to think I end up panicking about this whole thing. I'm very overwhelmed by not wanting to do this which I feel like I'm not allowed to admit to anyone in my personal life... I'm just scared lol. I hate being exposed, the doctor literally felt my stomach at my last visit and I wanted to curl up in a ball. How on earth am I going to get through nine months of prodding??? I just feel like I'm not me anymore, my body isn't mine. I'm just an incubator and all anyone asks about is the baby and how excited I am. I thought the excitement might kick in my now but I've been feeling like this since i found out. When does my excitement kick in???