Did you tell your other children?

Question

I recently suffered a miscarriage at 4 weeks. I have 3 girls 12,10, &5. My husband doesn’t want them to know but I feel they need to know. Did those of you that have older children tell them or hide it? I’m at a crossroads!

Answer

My daughter is 6 and she knows that I have had 2 miscarriages. I've used it to explain how life is precious. I do not feel like this has negatively affected her. I think it's important to not shield children too much, it's our job as parents to prepare them for life. I am very open with my children and try to explain everything in an age appropriate manner.

Answer

I don’t see a reason to tell them until their mature enough to understand. My son (7) has no idea I’ve miscarried 3 times as there is no way he would understand as I don’t believe he is emotionally mature enough to deal with the grief. I would protect them from dealing with grief unnecessarily. My daughter however knows but is 17 and mature enough to understand.

Answer

I did not tell my 8 year old. He would have been devastated

Answer

That’s a personal discussion for each person to make. We have no living children but I teach kindergarten and count each class as my own. I have suffered a miscarriage every class I have taught at my school (3 years) it comes out especially with parents and I being close. Kids understand and often it’s helpful for them to know. In your case this was your children’s sibling. I would tell them but that’s up to you.

Answer

Not right away. Wait till you're out of the safe zone.

Answer

My son is 7. We had 2 early miscarriages and didn’t tell him. Then I got pregnant and baby had many health issues and passed away at 5 months. Obviously there was no keeping any of that from him. If you want to tell your kids then by all means do it. You know them much better than any of us do. I’m so sorry. ❤️

Answer

We told our 11 year old and 4 year old when I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I lost a baby at 5 months the year before so they already went through loss. They very much include the babies as part of our family.

Did you tell your other children?

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