Four days until we meet our third baby girl and rainbow baby after over two years of trying and sadly a few loses.

These last few days have been DRAGGING! The bags are packed, meals are prepped, house is clean. Four days till my csection. But it’s not even my surgery that I’m scared for.

We have an 8 1/2 year old and an almost 5 year old already. I’m insanely close to them both and love the relationship and love that we share.

I remember when we had our second daughter I sobbed the whole night before having her and just held my oldest. I was so excited to have another baby but absolutely heartbroken that my oldest wasn’t the baby anymore and because that was her last night without split attention. I can’t even describe it.... some of you know that feeling. It’s just purely bitter sweet. Well tonight I finally had my meltdown and I’ve been sobbing all night to my husband. Just scared for that moment that both girls walk in and they instantly look SO big and grown up compared to the new baby. I’m so excited but just dreading the reality of the older two getting bigger. Just a basket case of emotions tonight. So very thankful to have another baby. But so sad at times for some reason. I truly cannot wait to hold my newest love. But like I said... just wanting my other babies to stay... my little babies forever.

Here’s a photo of my two sweet girls. My oldest is already an amazing big sister, and my second is eagerly awaiting our new arrival. She is ecstatic to finally be a big sister. I love these girls more than anything. I just wish time would slow down.