Long post ahead, be warned.

I have a dog that I adore. She’s been with me for seven years. My husband can not stand her. He knew before we began the relationship that it was me AND the dog or nothing. He made an informed decision. I thought she would grow on him. I was very wrong. He DOES have asthma, or he did when he was a child. I have never seen any symptoms of it for the three years I’ve been with him. I might just not be observant. That is his reasoning behind everything.

If I touch her, I have to wash my hands before I touch him.

If she licks my face, same deal. Wash face before he’ll kiss me.

If she rubs on my clothing, I have to change my clothes before I can come near him or sit on the furniture( do you know how much laundry I do?)

Her breath is “hot and stinky”. She cannot breathe on him.

She cannot touch him, his belongings, or the furniture that he might touch in any way. She cannot stand by the couch and let me pet her head, her side or her tail might touch the arm of the couch.

If he’s lying on the couch and her tail wags in her direction, he gets very upset and says that the wind from her tail will carry hair to him.

Dog gets on the bed? Have to wash the entire thing. Came home at around eight last night after a difficult day. Dog had managed to open the bedroom door and took a nap on our bed. Instead of going to sleep, I had to do two loads of laundry immediately because he wanted THAT blanket.

Dog gets on the furniture? Hope I had no plans tonight because I will be lint rolling (she does not shed) and vacuuming that thing until its fabric explodes.

He loses his temper with her constantly. Last night as I was walking in, I heard him screaming GODDAMNIT at the top of his lungs and then a loud thump (stomping maybe?). I rushed inside expecting a murder and instead found it was just his discovery of the dog on the bed. He went stomping through the living room (after flinging every single thing off the bed), loudly proclaiming that he hates her, fuck her, and on and on. I repeatedly asked him to stop, both because it makes me (and the dog) anxious (we hate when he yells), and also because our landlords live above us and can definitely hear. That’s so embarrassing.

Half an hour goes by and I attempt to talk to him about it. I told him he threw a temper tantrum like a child and scared both of us. He snapped back that he’s “allowed to be angry”. I said definitely, but his reaction was not okay. He said well, that’s what I did so. And that was the end of the conversation.

An hour or so goes by and he’s fine, acting like absolutely nothing ever happened. When I don’t respond the way he wants me to, I am the bad guy who won’t let it go.

He does this fit of rage thing about once a month. It’s awful. All of our fights center around the dog.

**I do want to state that he has never, ever raised a hand to her. Hitting her would require touching her!

Edit: I realized I forgot to ask my question. Why does he do this? I don’t understand. I don’t know what to do to get through this issue.