my life is falling apart and it’s been 2 days

hello! so there’s a whole long story about this mistake that I made (it was SO complicated, I had previously been told by my friend that she wouldn’t be hurt) and it hurt my friend, and immediately after I made it I did my 73387372% best to fix it. tears and tears and apologies and poems and everything. and we talked it out and she forgave me. she said everything wouldn’t be the same but I understood. so we moved on and everything was dandy until 2 weeks ago she started to be an absolute dick to me and drifting away from our friend group and it made us all sad. so I asked why. and she roasted me and posted about me on Snapchat calling me a bitch and mocking me for asking why she was upset. the next day the whole friend group hung out without me and it hurt like a motherfucker, I thought I was losing all of my friends, so I asked my other friend about it, and it turns out she’s mad at me too. she called me selfish and a bad friend for not listening to her when she confides in me but I really do try. anyways, how does one make sure not to be self absorbed, how do you really listen to someone (and what do you say) and how do you deal with being the bad guy? bc my mental state has never been worse. sorry this was so long :(