38 + 5 today and I’m feeling extremely nervous about labor. I don’t do birth plans but I wanted to set up some ”rules” for family members about coming to meet our girl. The reason I want to do that is because my husbands family is ALWAYS making everything about them. They live 2 1/2 hours away and originally when we said we weren’t telling people we were in labor they complained that wasn’t fair to them since they have to drive so far. But it’s also not fair for them to know before anyone else because of that. My family planned my baby shower for me and at the end of it his family tried to rush me to leave before most of my guests had. They kept following me around asking if they could put stuff in my car so they could follow me to my house. I finally got annoyed and said yes. While we were out there they got in their car and waited on me even though I explained I was going back in to help clean up. I guess they got tired of waiting on me saying bye to everyone and left. Only to come to my house and complain to my husband about my family not paying enough attention to them at the shower. (Because they were busy hosting games and talking to all the other guests.)

Sooo anyway I just wanted to set up some “rules” for everyone and post them on Facebook so there was no arguing about everyone not getting the same rules said to them. I figured if they are on social media it’s fair to everyone because everybody gets the same privileges. My husband immediately jumped down my throat about how it’s stupid to put on social media. I have so much anxiety over this whole situation I think about it all the time. With this kind of stuff I always feel like I’m walking on egg shells around everyone else when it’s MY baby and MY birth. My husband has agreed we should make rules but thinks we should text everyone individually but to me that will just cause more problems with everyone responding about how it’s unfair. But on social media I feel like everyone is less likely to show their ass. But now I’m just feeling so shitty about the situation I almost feel like letting shit hit the fan and letting him deal with everything last minute since he’s being so rude about it. I was in hysterics about it when I tried to talk to him because I have so much anxiety over giving birth and hes just decided not to talk to me now. Please give me some advice or reassurance that I’m not crazy. Or if I am being crazy tell me that too so I can admit when I’m in the wrong.

UPDATE: here is an actual copy of my “rules” and what I have so far. Nothing is set in stone because we’re still working it out. If you have any recommendations for rules or a better way to word it please let me know.

“As our due date approaches I wanted to offend a few people by laying out our rules for visiting. Matt and I have seriously discussed these rules. This is a friendly reminder this time is about our family going from three to four and to please respect our wishes.

* DO NOT come visit her if you are sick. Even if you’re just starting to feel sick put it off. She will be here when you decide to visit.

* Please do not come to the hospital when I’m laboring. We appreciate your support but I don’t want a bunch of people in the waiting room during that time. We will have an hour of skin to skin after too so there is no reason for anyone to be there early.

* DO NOT kiss the baby. We’ve all seen the Facebook posts and it’s not a risk we are willing to take.

* Noah will be the first to meet his sister. When she is born Matt will come get him and we will spend quality time together as a family before anyone else can come in.

* Please do not post on social media about her when she’s born until we have done so. We want to be able to announce her to the world.