I was hoping maybe talking about this would maybe help me feel better

So my boyfriend and I had been together for 15 months. We were both in love and it was fantastic until we hit the 6 month mark in May. He tells me that he's not sure he's in love with me anymore. This devastated me, and I wanted to do anything to fix it. So I gave him some space and we talked about it about a week later, and I go on telling him that I missed him so much and I really love him and he says I realized that I didn't really miss you and then I spend an hour convincing (begging) him to stay with me. So he says okay, I'll do it, let's try again. The next couple days he's like I'm still not sure and so I was still heartbroken. Then I finally saw him later that week and we made up and everything was fine. Except the day we made up, he tells me that he and his male best friend were hanging out and they somehow came to this "if you suck mine I'll suck yours" and so my boyfriend sucked his, but his friend didn't really want to do that so they weren't really friends anymore. I decide to overlook this cheating because I knew my bf and he was just dumb. So we make up, we're all fine. We have the best next few months. Fast forward to December. He says this again to me "I'm not sure that I'm in love with you" mind you he says things when he's stressed, he had some family issues, he doesn't think things through which is like what happened in May. So again I'm just heartbroken, because we had made up and literally never fought. We were having the perfect months, I was going to move in soon. And I was like, I'm not sure I want this anymore (to make myself feel better, I wanted him so bad) because I always felt it was me putting in all the effort. So then he comes to me, and tells me all this stuff about our future and how he's so very sorry for putting me through that again. And actually fought for me and made a little bit of effort. And so I put my guard up, because I did love him and I did want to be with him and we made up. We were perfectly fine, had a fantastic Christmas. My birthday was January 5th and we had an amazing time. He got me a promise ring and promised he would love me forever. I only got to see him on the weekends because he worked during the week. And so I wanted to get back on birth control. It made me super hormonal and like crazy before but this time I got a way lower dose of it and I thought it would be okay. Turns out it still messed with me, and I was having a bad week, and acting clingy. So he said the following weekend (Jan 12th) that he wanted time alone, which is fine I mean I get it. Except I was nervous because literally every time I didn't spend the weekend with him was when he would be like "I'm not sure im in love with you" but anyways I'd had a bad week and I was emotional and other things were going on. Fast forward to the 18th he picked me up, didn't say much. I was upset and I just really wanted some snuggles and to be loved on. So we did that and then I was just really whiny and not feeling good and having a bad weekend with him. So he takes me home on the 20th and I apologize for being that way, I had decided to not take the birth control because of how it made me. I said next weekend will be really fun!! Are we okay? And he said yes we're fine I love you. An hour later he texts me telling me he can't do this anymore. And then we spent a couple days talking and he basically gave up on our relationship because of a bad week. He said he loved me when he gave me the ring and then 2 weeks later he wasn't in love. He says it's not because of the bad week but obviously it was, because there was like no time in between the 2 events.

I had always thought we had a good relationship. We never fought, we always told each other when we were upset, we talked through our problems. He'd liked me for 3 years, and I'd actually friendzoned him and then I liked him a few years later, so we were very good friends. I told him I'd liked him and we talked for a bit and then got together. It was so nice at first, and then he stopped trying. His work was literally 2 turns away from my house, and he never took time to come see me for at least a couple minutes before or after work. I only saw him on the weekends and he barely talked to me during the week so I was just wanting attention from him so bad when I did see him because I didn't get to see him much. He would look at my messages and not respond to me, but when I was with him he was always on his phone. One night, I was having an panic attack and I was crying and he knew. We only had the couches to sleep on then, but I had asked him to stay up for a bit and lay with me so I could calm down, and he was like "We both won't fit" (he was just being lazy, we fit before) and I was teary and obviously crying. So I kept asking while getting more upset and eventually he ignored me. So I just cried until I fell asleep like 3 hours later. The worst part was in the morning he asked me "Why were you crying last night?" What kind of boyfriend lets their girlfriend lay across the room and know that shes crying and upset and just doesn't do anything? And I wish I would've left in May but my heart wanted him. I'm not that upset, I haven't cried much. I'm more hurt by the fact that again, he didn't want to put in effort. But it's still hard because we had made all these future plans and it's like how do you go from that, to trying not to think of him so much? To have every hopeful future thought with him in it just gone? I had loved him so much, put so much effort in. I always made sure he knew I was there for him and that I loved him. I made all the plans. But I can't get him off my mind. And before we broke up I got to the point to where I wasn't in love with him anymore, because my heart couldn't take it. And we're on good terms, it honestly just hurt most seeing him to give him some of his stuff. I just wondered if anyone else wanted to share their stories too. Any thoughts anyone? Ways to help me feel a little better? How do I move on and not feel this way?