I had a D&E earlier this month. We were given a diagnosis of "not compatible with life" at our 12.4 week NT scan. We decided to TFMR. It was agony emotionally. It still is.

I was never given the option to do anything with the remains. I can only imagine the reason why is because there is no "intact" baby after the procedure. I didn't even think about it until weeks after my loss. I decided to call the hospital, I needed to know what exactly happened to my baby besides some lab work on the tissue samples. To my surprise, they still had the remains, 3 weeks later. All this time I didn't call because I was so scared and sick over the thought of my baby being discarded and I didn't even try and do something about it.

Pathology requires us to make funeral arrangements, then the remains will be given to the funeral home.

We are going to have him/her (we will decide if we want to know the gender. It's on record but we're not ready yet) cremated.

My hope is that someone who may be feeling the way I did after my loss sees this, and knows there may still be time if they wish to say goodbye. Call your OBGYN, they will call the hospital and inquire for you.

💓💓💓