I think I need help ๐Ÿ˜”

I have a 7 year old daughter. We decided to try on baby #2 back in September. I ended up having a miscarriage at 10 weeks right before thanksgiving. It completely destroyed me. We didnโ€™t wait and immediately began trying again. Ended up having a chemical in December but I tried to be positive and think well at least itโ€™s not a miscarriage. I swore January was our month. Well AF is 3 days late and Iโ€™m beginning to spot. I broke crying while washing the dishes yesterday because something inside me knew I wasnโ€™t pregnant like I had hoped. I was reflecting over this past month and realized Iโ€™ve taken over 30 pregnancy tests this month each time hoping for the even the lightest faint line. Iโ€™m going crazy.