This is gonna be depressing.

I keep seeing happy families and babies and questions about twins. Just a moment ago I commented on a young woman's family photos with an adorable little girl.

I love seeing this. It makes my heart melt and I love it. But it also hurts so much.

You see, my family and I have not been so lucky. I am in the military, and on Valentine's day 2008 a little boy my son's age was thrown into my arms, hit by shrapnel from an IED. He died in my arms as I ran to the aid station. It still kills me to this day and is the subject of almost all of my nightmares.

My wife is plagued with PCOS. Having children is incredibly difficult. We were blessed in 2016 with twins. William Arthur and Elise Kate. But when my wife was carrying them she fell down a flight of stairs and they both passed.

Grieivng happens all the time. I cry as I type this because it hurts so bad.

Then, last year, after so much trouble, we decided to start fostering. If we cannot bring children into this world and keep them here, maybe we can help others.

We picked up our little boy at 4 days old, recently sobered up off his mother's drug habit. We held him for 8 months before something happened and he suddenly left our home.

I found out that a few weeks later his first word was "Dada". It breaks my heart that I'll likely never see him again, even more so knowing the life ahead of him with his bio parents.

Being around and seeing kids is heartbreaking every single day. I'm in therapy, medicated, have had a failed suicide attempt, and still keep an exit plan on hand.

Your families are all very beautiful. and treasure them. They really could be gone at any moment.

Sorry for the depressing topic, but I needed to say this.