*TW** I had an abortion

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It happened over a year ago. We already had a little baby and we were renting his aunt’s basement and couldn’t afford to have another one. I don’t regret it. I know it was the right decision for our family. But I do feel guilty. I try to make myself feel better by saying it was just a ball of cells and not even a baby yet but then I remember we found out about our daughter around that many weeks and were already so excited about our “baby”..I feel bad for picking and choosing and I’m gonna feel bad for the next time we try to have another baby when we could’ve had one before. My heart sinks whenever I think about if it felt pain or what it looked like in utero. It doesn’t help seeing these anti-abortion posts all over the internet saying that women who get abortions are murderers. I know we’re not bad people for doing what we thought was right for us..but I feel bad and I don’t know how to make peace with it.

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COMMENT (4)

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Posted at
Avoid shamey anti-choice shit on the Internet for one. Two, recognize that your pregnancies are not connected at all. They exist in different spaces and times. The factors that led to your first pregnancy resulting in a baby and the factors that led to your next pregnancy not resulting in a baby are two different sets of factors. There is nothing wrong with reaching different conclusions when the factors have changed. There will be nothing wrong with deciding to have another baby in the future, again different time, different same, different factors. Recognizing this truth will help you make peace with the decision. Deciding to end a pregnancy does not negate or call into question a past or future choice to carry a pregnancy to term. They just are not connected like that. The connection that you draw only serves as a means to guilt yourself over your choice. Attempt to let that go. You made the best choice for you, your family, and your situation at the time. There is nothing wrong or shameful in that.

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B • Feb 7, 2019
Thank you so much for that. It makes me feel a lot better ❤️

Je

Posted at
It’s a rough thing to go through, for sure. Maybe you could do something positive in memory?

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B • Feb 7, 2019
I can’t really think of anything that I can do