It’s 4:50 am in the morning and as I lay here in bed with my littles who have decided to invade my space I began to think deeply about the future.

I’m recently divorced. I’ve been in a loveless, sex-starved, emotionally draining marriage for 9 years (he was cheating the entire time). My heart and love for my husband died sometime around 2016 but I kept trying to make it work and love him for the girls... eventually I decided that we just aren’t meant and never were meant for each other... especially because I caught him again.

I decided that enough was enough. I was tired of wasting my time, love, and devotion on a man that couldn’t even keep it in his pants... and honey, his dick game was wrack, just saying. I couldn’t even say that I stayed because of devil dick lol 😂

Anyway, fast forward. Finally divorced and honestly I haven’t even cried. I don’t feel bad. I no longer feel hurt. The pain of the past no longer gets to me. It’s almost like it happened so long ago that I’ve healed.

And so... here I am thinking about the future and how lovely it will be. Do I regret my past? Honestly, no. I have two amazing daughters because of it. I’m stronger, wiser, and more self motivated and driven than ever. I know what I want because I spent so long with a relationship I didn’t want.

So while I could be here saying never again and I’ll never trust someone again and never get married... I’m actually quite hopeful that it will happen but this time with the right guy.

My dad called me today and for some reason he decided to say the following “You’re smart, intelligent, beautiful, and young. You’re a wonderful and amazing mother and you’re going places. Any man who decides to have you better be better than me but I want to walk you down the aisle towards him. I want to give him to you myself” (I eloped and married my ex-husband in court. 🤭)

I was shocked my dad said that because we weren’t even talking about that. He’s already talking about me remarrying and it was sweet to know that he’s got my back when that day comes.

Why am I sharing all this? I hope that anyone to reads this and has gone through a shitty relationship can have the hope to know that you can heal and move on from the pain. Instead of “fuck love” and “fuck men”, love yourself, ALL of you even the broken pieces. It’s part of who you are and you’re a savage because of it! Learn to love yourself and take time to heal.

Then when you’re ready, welcome the thoughts and ideas of love back into your life. Have an idea of what you want and this time don’t settle for less than what you’re worth 😉

Much love to everyone!! 😘