Hoping for our first!!!🖤 But confused and worried..

EDIT: when I test he gets excited thinking it's gonna come out positive, but when it's negative he just says well there's always next month or he'll ask me if I got my period yet and if I say no he'll tell me to wait and see what happens and he immediately wants to go at it again lol

So my SO finally decided he wants another baby (he has 2 from a previous marriage) and of course I'm so so so excited! But he constantly going back and forth, right now we're trying to find a house and I've had some medical issues, but I've already made my decision that if it happens now I will do whatever I have to for the baby. I love my SO so much and I'm so ready and excited to have a baby with him (will be my first), but he'll go from being excited too and cumming in me constantly and talking baby stuff all the time and then he'll tell me that we're not really trying yet, just not being careful anymore and 'whatever happens happens' but he's not in a hurry. Am I an idiot for being a little upset by that? I just feel like he is constantly getting my hopes up and then tells me he isn't ready and then I'm stuck worrying about if I'm pregnant or not all by myself. Then I'll take a test and it'll come out negative and he'll be all excited thinking I'm pregnant until I give him the results then he'll want to try again and then it's the same cycle. This week that I've been ovulating he's came in me a bunch and I've been so excited and hopeful, I'm worried that this month won't be our month either. I'm not necessarily angry, but I did cry a little bit 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe in just reading into it too much..