DISCLAIMER ... brace yourselves this will be a little long..

I’ve been part of this community for a few years now and for the first time ever I’m posting here. I am somewhat confused and need some outside opinions of my situation.

My husband a few months ago came home and needed to talk. He breaks up in front of me in tears saying that he is scared of my reaction and that I might get hurt. And I’m like... I’m listening

He starts talking to me about this friend he has been helping out and also spending time (note: I know her and He has told me since day one every time they meet and how they have a good relationship, honestly I don’t feel threatened by her in any way I know that my husband has never lied to me and is so honest that he tells me everything) so back to story.. he was in tears because he thought he screwed up by expressing his honest friendship feelings to her and she misinterpreted the situation and thought he was flirting with her.

He was so sad for screwing up (he is very reserved and doesn’t open up like this to anybody) until that day.. he was dreading that he was about to loose her friendship. At this point I really went over and beyond to understand him and I did my best to support him and understood where he was coming from.

Ok so fast forward to yesterday...

I’ve been really making an effort as I have been dealing with anxiety. I have had some breakdowns im coping how to be a new mom (We have a 7month old baby) and I work from home I asked him to take care of baby while I hit the gym and at first he said he was going to be late from work. I thought his delay was work related and didn’t think much of it.

A few minutes later he calls me to clarify that He was not going to be late because of work, it was because earlier that day this friend asked him to go have a coffee and talk. He wanted to be sincere with me and not hide stuff behind my back so he explained the situation. Over the phone, I accepted it not making a big deal about it but after I hung up I was like... WTF?

So this pissed me off... I was really pissed off that I was going through crap i’ve been with baby all evening, that he knows this, and I felt like a second option.

I started texting him and he calls me, he then saids that he doesn’t want to hurt me and that it’s not like that, that he loves me and that he chooses me and our family. I calm down and just tell him to go and to please come back home as soon as he is done.

When he gets home I tell him up straight that I do not want to hear anything about the conversation, I have enough things going on for myself. im going to the gym and work on my mental shit.

Back from the gym at 10pm I sit and he is understanding and hears me out I cried and unstressed about other things going on and he listens to me.

This morning I see him really upset and distant he had stuff on his mind. I start asking and he spilled the beans.

This friend told him that she is starting to have some feelings towards him and that she is going to stay away for a while. (She is also married) and she doesn’t want to cause an issue. So he is worried and stressing out about this friend and that he I going to loose her friendship. He starts crying and I’m now second guessing myself where do I stand in this whole thing.

I asked him over and over to please analyze his feelings and that I did not want to waste my time if he has feelings for her, I can work with him leaving me but I need to know where I stand. but please do not leave me in this limbo. The limbo is shit. And this is getting out of hand.

He repeated over and over that I was the one not her, that he cares about me and not her....he sees her as a friend but she is the one getting confused.

But his actions sometimes shows me otherwise... I do have to give him credit that he has been so honest with me since day 1 and he could easily have been hiding this from me and he decided not to.

I don’t know what to do, either to be supportive or just to draw the line and ask him to stop.