I want to disappear

OK so I am 15 and bi and I am closeted to my whole family because my my parents are extremely homophobic and I am not old enough to evacuate plus they will say I am to young and confused and throw me into therapy

I have a girlfriend and I am super happy with her, she is adorable and we have so much fun together. We had been talking about how it sucks both our parents are homophobic (her parents sent her to conversion therapy when she came out and now she has convinced them she is straight and a child of the lord and stuff)

And I learned (after a bunch of events that are far to complicated to go into right now)

That my parents had voted against gay marriage and last week went to an anti gay meeting

I think I am going to cry, because I am there first born so they always say that their hopes and dreams lie with me, and I can’t help but feel that it’s my fault, that I let them down in some way, and I know this is not something I can control, but I feel like I did something to make me bi, to make me this disappointment. and I know I shouldn’t I just... I feel like a monster and a part of me just wants to disappear,I just want to forget about being bi and date only boys and be that perfect example my family wants me to be... but I cant.. and I kind of hate myself for it