I fell in love😖🤕

I’ve always been in relationships for the wrong reasons either someone asked me out and I said yes just because or I just think the person is cute I don’t think I often put a whole lot of thought into who I date and what we did because it didn’t matter much to me but then I met this girl named destinee and I swear she is the most amazing girl I’ve ever met in my life she makes me feel like the whole world would stop if she wasn’t around the day she walked into my life I knew right away she was going to be everything to me and SHE IS we’re about to graduate and she’s enlisting and I’m going to college and even though she knows my feeling and I know that she likes me things have gotten so complicated my mind is in jumbles she sends so many mixed signals and I just can’t understand her. we were flirting and cuddling and holding every chance we got but then she told me she didn’t want to catch feeling because it would hurt more later on I’ve never been big on commitment but I would give her my life she makes me crazy I think about her all the time and she keeps getting close and then pushing me away again my friends think I should just stop but something is telling me that I should keep pushing for her valentines is coming up and even though she has “broken up” with me we talk on FaceTime every night and talk on the phone every morning we text throughout the day and she even told me she wants to spend Cantonese together but SHE WONT TOUCH ME ever since the day we ALMOST kissed she won’t even look me in the eye it’s the most weirdest situation I’ve ever been in I think I’m falling in love and it’s so scary because I’m not sure if she feels the same I forgot to put in the small detail that her last girl friend of three years died I’m just so confused 😖🥺