Was your spouse or significant other supportive?

Question

My husband is continuing with life as normal meanwhile I’m dying inside. 
I feel like I’m on an island all by myself. I just want him to sit with me and give me that reassurance that everything will be ok. 
Idk 😭

Answer

My husband was supportive, but he is kind of emotionally distant, especially when he’s feeling emotional. He was very strong, and when I told him I needed to not feel alone in my grief, he opened up. Our first loss was incredibly difficult on both of us, and he told me that once he enters states of grief, it’s hard for him to pull out of them (true, PTSD from having his two best friends die in horrible ways in a very short time) He did recover from the grief more quickly than I did, but while I’m pro that women and men are equal, things like miscarriage can’t effect them in the exact same way. Their bodies and hormones are not involved the same way, and they just can’t be. I doubt he’s trying to be insensitive in any way, though. I’m sorry for your loss. 💜

Answer

I’m sorry for your loss 😞 it’s a terrible thing to go through and I think everyone handles grief in their own way, especially men. It’s been a little over three weeks since my miscarriage and I’m still struggling with my anger and sadness every day. My husband on the other hand, although he was so extremely supportive and still is, has found it easier to live life again as normal as he can. We as women not only have to feel all the feelings, but our bodies are physically going through it as well, which makes it even harder for us and is just something men can’t relate to/understand. I think they try to be strong for us and sometimes hide how they’re really feeling because they don’t want to make it any harder on us. Praying for you during this time, I know how isolating it can be❤️❤️

Answer

I’m sorry for your loss :( I just went through this myself. 
My husband and I have both been through a lot in our lives we very much have a “if nothing can be done to change it just move on” attitude. Other than the day we found out neither of us cried. 
Come a week later and I stopped bleeding- somehow this is what allowed me to finally feel- to finally cry- I was MAD that my husband wasn’t crying right there with me. I soon realized that he too lost a child, and while everyone was supportive of me and making sure I was okay- he was staying strong for me too. 
I turned to him and said “I’m so sorry that you lost your baby” 
And we cried together for an hour- let it all out.  We’re on the same page again and back to being tough. 
Tell him how you’re feeling- give him to grieve- communication is SO important

Answer

I went through this or am going through this I should say. I found out last week that I was miscarrying and my husband was initially very sweet but then as the days went by it was just normal life for him....as I continued to have royal meltdown after royal meltdown. Honestly my peace of mind truly came from crying it out in a hot bath with soft music; and truly acknowledging that everyone mourns differently. Truth be told now that my HCG is zero I am handling my pain and emotions more reasonably. 
I can only hope that as these days go by that you can find comfort in knowing that he is hurting too but he may not grieve as you do. And forcing him to “be there for you” or grieve that way you do will only cause conflict; which your healing heart does not need right now. ❤️ Be gentle with yourself; I am so sorry for your loss.

Was your spouse or significant other supportive?

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