Feeling guilty

My cousins son just passed away last Thursday. My nephew was only 8 and had so much life to live. I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant and i don’t know why but I’m feeling so guilty that I’m being blessed with a baby and hers was taken away.

When we were younger and when we went to church they told us someone passes away so another life can be born. And it’s been stuck with me since i found out my cousins son had cancer. It’s been really hard to be okay or happy or have any sort of positive emotion during this time. I don’t know if I’m in the wrong or what to think. I’m happy but i feel so guilty. So guilty. And the situation with BD doesn’t help. I don’t know what to do. It’s hard.