Here I am again. It's almost midnight so I'll be officially 10 days late in a few minutes. My last pregnancy test was at 7 days late, and it was negative. :( My doctor advised waiting til 10 days to test again, but I'm too afraid to test. I'm afraid of that negative that I'm sure is going to pop up. I'm afraid of the devastation I know I'll feel...again... This will be my 4th test. I tested on the day of my expected period, 4 days late, and 7 days late. All negative. Each time was the same heartache. At this point, I've told myself Im not pregnant. I have a myriad of reasons why my period hasn't come. I've wiped my tears and told myself we're going to keep trying this month even though I have no clue what my cycle is doing. But in the back of my mind, there's a little voice saying "But maybe..."

Maybe I am pregnant and ovulation was off last month and it's just too early to tell.

Maybe my body is just slow at making enough detectable hcg.

This sucks.

I ordered some cheap pregnancy tests from Amazon because I'm tired of paying $10+ dollars for just 2 tests that I keep getting negatives on. They don't come in til Saturday, so I told myself I'll save my last "expensive" test to confirm if any of the cheap ones turns up positive, be it this cycle or the next..or the next...etc.