fear of control

I've been single officially for 7 years and even though I would like to meet someone and I dream about a future with a partner I still have issues left from my controlling ex. He was never physically abusive and I know women go through a lot worse. we were together for 5 years and at the time I didn't see it until after we split up. He always made it seem like the reason he did things was because he cared. He never liked me seeing my friends even if it was just a trip to the cinema and I ended up rarely seeing my friends. If I did I would then get an interrogation over who was there, whether any guys tried to flirt with me. I tried to find a new job and he pretty much told me I'd never find another job, he commented on my body telling me he liked skinny girls with no boobs I lost so much weight as he commented on my eating habits. I have achieved so much since leaving him but I'm so scared of losing myself in a new relationship. I've dated 2 guys since him, when I broke up with one he went mad and kept messaging and calling to be nasty to me and the last guy I meet was using me to make his ex jealous and got back with her. I just get this feeling of dread and fear about letting anyone close to me again.