Im not sure where to put this so I'm gonna post it here

So with my first child (he will be 2 in march) when I went into labor they gave me the epidural and it caused me to have high blood pressure and my son his heart rate dropped real low they didnt tell me how low as I was already feeling worried and due to my blood pressure i wasnt in the right state so since all that happened i had to have an emergency c-section to be on the safe side as they said (I wanted to have a vaginal birth) they cut me vertically and now I'm scared it'll happen again and I cant have a VBAC because of the way they cut me so I'm so scared and hesitant on having another baby even though I want another miracle so bad 😭 anybody have advice or anything that'll help me etc etc (I'm not pregnant we are ttc currently) I've just been over thinking it lately