Please don’t judge. I’m confused myself.

So, I was in a very toxic and emotionally/ physically abusive relationship for years. I took almost two years to myself to heal and grow and relearn self love after I finally left him.

Last summer I found an amazing guy and we made it official December 2018. Everything was perfect and now I am finding myself not knowing hot to handle a good man, not knowing how to be in a good relationship or not be toxic or scared. I literally can’t let my wall down and keep closing up. I find it hard communicate how I feel and not to react poorly.

So, lately I’ve pushed him away and haven’t been best girlfriend. It’s almost like I’m struggling emotionally and confused. I was never this way before. But I guess it could be I don’t know how to deal with emotions healthy based off my last relationship and I am constantly need reassurance he wants to be with me and he cares about me. It sucks he is a great guy but I am struggling. Has anyone else felt shut down and scared and maybe like you are now reflecting toxic traits you weren’t Aware you possess in your new relationship?