Maybe this makes me a bad mom. But I wish I had a break from my family for a few days. I’m carrying this baby low. My whole body is depleted. I’ve had sick children or a sick husband for 4 months. Basically, the majority of my pregnancy.

And I’m tired.

Like I just want a weekend off. Sleep. Sleep

With no monitor. No snot to wipe. No butts to clean. No feeding schedule. Rest my swelling feet. No 5 am fights with my oldest bc just bc he woke up doesn’t mean it’s time to be awake. He doesn’t even have to get up for school until 7.

My mom comes to help occasionally. She used to take them for the several days. But then my kid got into school. And by the time he gets out, there isn’t enough time to get him to her two states away and back by school Monday. She misses the kids and they miss her. But man, right now, I wish she’d just take them the rest of this week. Skip school. Because my husband is working late all week and worked all weekend. And I’m tired of us passing in the night. And doing all the routines alone.

And it honestly doesn’t matter if my husband takes them in the morning or my mom is here, if mommy is around, I’m needed. I love being a mom, but it’s been a rough season. Money stress, job stress, pregnancy stress, and my little has been chronically ill off and on his whole life. He’s been sick since Jan 1. We just went to a specialist 2 hours away to talk about scheduling surgery for him. We will have follow ups and appointments. All 2 hours one way. It’s the closest. The trip and holding down a sick one year old was exhausting. The doc even seemed annoyed that I couldn’t hold him well in my lap for exams bc I’m 26 weeks.

I’m just wrung.

My pregnancy hormones are on overdrive. Early I was crying because I was so tired. Now, after dinner and baths and bedtime and my husband still not home, I don’t even think I have the tears.

This final stretch of the pregnancy is hard. Add in the pain in my sciatic thanks to this baby and Being unable to sleep at this point. I got told today to put my feet up. Ummm, yeah. When? I have a family that needs me.

I’m just tired. Hormonal. Exhausted. Don’t even want to get a shower tired.

And we’ve got to do it all again tomorrow.

I’d just like to time out and say I’m selfish and I lie doing what I need. But that’s not real life.