Does your other half appreciate the things you do for them?

Question

First I'd like to say that I love my husband to the moon and beyond, but lately I've felt like he takes me for granted. 
My fault for getting my hopes up, but this past Valentines day was an absolute bust. My husband is currently deployed and I'm not asking for monetary gifts, but I was hoping for some sort of text or call to tell me how much he loves me or appreciates me. I did get a Hey, Happy Valentine's Day, but nothing special. For Christmas he bought me a water flask and for my birthday didn't do anything. I don't know if it's my hormones (I'm 28 weeks pregnant), but my feelings are pretty hurt. 
I tried explaining how I feel, but he blows up and says, "whatever, everything is my fault". He seems to not even want to try and understand me. It's been a long week of frustration between him and I. I'm not sure how to feel and move on while feeling disregarded by him. When I feel shutdown, I build a wall to protect myself from being hurt. What bothers me the most is the way he's being while I'm home by myself to take care of our 5 year old and myself while being pregnant. 
Any advice?

Answer

My husband appreciates everything I do for him and I appreciate things he does for me. We are a team. We are 50/50 and teamwork requires effort on both parts. We also always let each other know that we appreciate each other.

Answer

I would be upset too, especially with his reaction to trying to discuss it. Texting is a subpar communication tool, it’s so easy to misconstrue words. It’s very difficult to communicate through a deployment! He doesn’t know how stressful it is to be home alone to take care of everything and you don’t understand how stressful it is to be so far away from family and home. My advice would be to give him a solution from you, acknowledge that you were hurt and then give him a very clear action to fix it. I literally hate saying this, but women want guys to listen and guys are usually just looking for a solution to a problem without understanding why it’s a problem at all. You’re totally allowed to be upset, just give him guidance to meet your expectations if you’re on different pages. My husband and I have gone through this exact issue!

Answer

I feel the same way 
My husband appreciates me and what I do, because he says so, he tells me thank you, ect, but when it comes to actual gestures, he just sucks. He sucked at Christmas, completely skipped over Valentine's the last 2 years (even though we actually had a discussion agreeing that we'd get each other presents and I gave him a list of suggestions), won't be doing anything for our anniversary (he said so, and with his track record I believe it), and my birthday next month likely won't be celebrated either. It feels like, even though i am very clear about how I feel, try and make sure we're on the same page (by agreeing in advance), trying to make it easy (by offering suggestions), he literally just doesn't care to bother. He doesn't do random gifts, flowers, dates, notes, cards, nice texts, he's not very affectionate, and he just doesn't care to put in the effort even knowing that I would appreciate it. I do these things for him and go out of my way to do things to make him feel appreciated, but it's a completely one sided effort. And it's even more frustrating because he's the kind of person who puts so much time, effort, and thought into things for himself or his mom or whoever, so I know he can do it. He just doesn't care 
I'm honestly at my wit's end, and he seems to either genuinely not comprehend what I say to him, or just genuinly doesn't give a fuck. And I'm over it and fed up with trying to be understanding and forgiving when there's absolutely zero reason for him to not be trying

Does your other half appreciate the things you do for them?

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