Dear me what the hell are you doing.

Dear me,

You have an amazing boyfriend.... who treats you like a princess. Loves you and cares about you deeply. Yes, it is a newer relationship. Yes he is beautiful with green eyes and tall. BUT his 🍆 is small. I am not always sexual satisfied. I feel you cum too fast, or it’s not enough feels like nothing. Some times when I tell you to how to please me you fix it..... Your so perfect to me and it scares me after my x. Idk how handle a good man. I close myself up and can’t express emotions to you. I can’t vent to you. I get so scared. I’m emotionally struggling and your trying to be there.

But lately I have done the worse deed and cheated and pushed you away. The guy I am cheating with is only sexually. Feels so amazing - then I miss the emotional aspect of when we have sex.... bc mine and his lacks that.

What the hell is wrong with me self. What am I doing. This is not me.

May cause judgment but I will never tell you. I will stop though and get my head back in the game and work on us.

I have never cheated b4. My x prior cheated on me month after month its heart crushing.

Why do I use this guy as an escape to our relationship? Sometimes I don’t want to deal with you bc I don’t know how to handle a good man I get scared. I really pushed you away and go hide I’m sorry. I really fucking like you.