Has anyone had to terminate for medical reasons?

Question

I can’t seem to find anyone on here who’s going through the same thing as I am...I found out recently that my baby may not survive after birth due to a genetic condition and by some miracle should he survive he will be brain damaged or a vegetable...This may seem heartless to many but the financial emotional physical mental and spiritual expenses of caring for a disabled child is too much for me to take on...my heart has been shattered into a million pieces because I don’t want my baby boy to think that I don’t love him because I love him more than anything...I’ve been trying for so long and he’s gonna be my 4th loss...I have no living children and I’ve slowly been coming to the realization that I wasn’t meant to be a mother...My heart is so heavy and my tears have been a constant flow...

Answer

With my son we found out he had a terminal brain disease after he was born. We decided to discontinue his care in the NICU so we wouldn’t suffer. Making those selfless acts is what makes you a MOTHER. You ARE a mother, don’t ever ever doubt that for one second! You are putting your child’s needs first and that’s what we Mother’s do best. I have no living children either but I created two sweet boys and just because they are angels instead doesn’t make me not a mother! Don’t be so hard on yourself mama, you are doing your absolute best! You and your family will be in my prayers!

Answer

I dont know the diagnosis or have any particular advice but on Facebook I saw that a couple decided to carry to term and donate all of the babies organs. They got to love on and snuggle their daughter until she passed peacefully and then they were able to save other babies lives. The mother said she didnt want other mothers to experience what she was going through. 
I cant imagine that their situation would be ideal for everyone but just incase it helps you cope better I wanted to share the idea.
Bless your heart. I'll keep you in my prayers. You are the strongest kind of mommy.

Answer

Hi yes,  i went through this last October as my baby girl was diagnosed at our 21 week anomaly scan as having walker warburg syndrome.  I had a few scans to confirm fluid on her brain,  a amniocentesis on the same day which came out normal and a couple weeks after (23 weeks) an mri confirming major parts of her brain hadnt developed properly. It took me a further 2 weeks after that to make peace with the decision of having a termination of a baby that we had tried so hard for,  even suffering a miscarriage a few months before we conceived her, but in my heart i felt i was making the only decision i could make for not only my baby girl but for my family too. It was the worst time of my entire life, having carried my baby girl so far along and within a few minutes of having my scan being told that there was something 'terribly wrong' with her and going home to research non stop for the next few weeks what the symptoms of the fluid on her brain could be.  It was even worse because i wanted to read that evrything could have been okay with her,  but deep down i was convincing myself of what l wanted to hear,  but the reality was still there,  my baby was very sick and didn't have a good prognosis.  I had to have the feticide procedure which was the worst thing l have ever experienced emotionally and laboured and delivered a couple of days afterwards.  My baby girl was beautiful,  l can never imagine how sick she may have been because she looked so perfect,  but l will never forget every detail about her.  I will always love her as much as my other children and l find peace in feeling we gained our guardian angel.  I ran away from society after it happend,  relocated to another country because i couldn't face people,  l didn't know how to talk about this to anyone,  my family avoided talking to me about it,  because not only were they also grieving,  but they didn't know how to deal with this situation - l was such a wreck, it was difficult,  but time has put some level of peace in my heart. It will never be easy,  but you have to be kind to yourself and follow your gut feelings- only you know what you feel inside and what's best for you and your family. It may feel like the world is moving on without you and your caught up in this whirlwind,  but time will eventually give you some peace in your decisions.  I wish you the best of luck and im here if you ever need to speak.

Answer

This must be a very difficult and heart braking decsion for you to have to make and i feel for you. Its something i havent had to do but i can assure you when i fell pregnant in nov ( unfortnatly mcd in jan) me and my partner decided if there was to be anything seriously wrong with baby we wouldnt be going ahead with the pregnancy as what kind of life would it be for baby in pain, not being able to do things for them selves or having a proper life etc. You are brave for the descion you have to make and you will ALWAYS be a mother. ❤

Answer

So sorry you are facing this, it is definitely not easy. You are a mama, no matter what you decide to do. 
At our 20 week scan, we found out our baby had a congenital condition with his kidneys. We were offered termination but what he had was so rare no one really knew what the outcome would be so we decided to carry on. I don’t know if it was the right decision but we did get 5 days with him when he was finally born. Ultimately it was us, as parents, that suffered not him. It is an awful dilemma to be in and whatever you decide, it will be the right one for you and your baby. Sorry I can not be of more help.

Answer

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I have not experienced this yet as I've only been pregnant once and miscarried last week. However if it comforts you to know, my husband and I decided before ttc that we would not continue a pregnancy after finding out severe genetic defects would be present. In my opinion it is not fair to the child if they would have no quality of life. For personal reasons and past experiences it is just not something I would be willing to do. Hope this helps 💕

Answer

I am sorry to hear your going through this. I chose to medically abort I was 18 and terrified of the what ifs. They told me the same thing they told you and at that age (any age) is never easy to hear. I never thought it was possible being so young and not well educated on pregnancies like this. It broke my spirit for a very long time and it took a while to heal but I did and it got easier in time. They'll be days when I get my period and I feel a little heartache even though I am not ready for a baby it still makes me sad. You will get through whatever you decide to do. Just believe and keep pushing forward. Did your doctors give you a percentage of this happening again in a future pregnancy?

Answer

We did in my 16th week.  She was a little girl.  I had a d&e bc of how far along I was.  She came out whole and I got to see her and hold her for a few mins, which I’m so glad I got to do.

Has anyone had to terminate for medical reasons?

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