So I’m doing this anonymously because I don’t know if there’s anyone on here that I know Andy family except my mom and grandmother and of course my fiancé know ...

So we’ve TTC for 6 years we’ve been together for 11years.. miscarried our first pregnancy in 2017 at 7w3d .... the following year we found out that I have a blood disorder a rare one it’s called polycythemia Vera ( blood cancer ) ... I need to be on aspirin daily... no chemo just being monitored as mines is benign.. thankful for that.. now my issue is that me and my fiancé never had any issues sexually were the most sexual couple I know... however since my doctor doesn’t know how pregnancy is going to go for me I’ve noticed that he won’t cum for me at all.. he will say did you feel that? I think I came? Or I did cum.. when I know for a fact when he cums .. because of the way it feels.. we’re not TTC right now however through the entire 11 years we have NEVER used protection ever.. and he had always came in me.. I just wouldn’t get pregnant because again at the time we didn’t know what was wrong with me.. up until now.. so now he just won’t.. it makes me feel outside of myself like something’s wrong with me sexually? We can go for hours and he still won’t cum... but as soon as it starts getting really early in the hours and we’re still going .. and he knows I’m going to be tired for work he will say help me get one more out?? ( cum) when he didn’t cum at all..but he wants me to believe that he did... and he will cum in less than 15 minutes when I help him beat one out.. and it’s thick white nut.. so even though I’m fully aware he’s lying about cuming seeing his nut confirms what I already knew... and it makes me so angry... i send him boudoir pics of me every week at random times that I take myself and he will get all excited about them but then when we actually do the deed I can tell he’s holding back.. but he just keeps in denying it ... I’m at the point now that I don’t care if we have sex anymore.. I be ready to fucking cry from feeling so unsexy unwanted because that’s what it seems like .. but I hold my tears back and help him cum.. beating it out.. while I’ve cum from having sex with him multiple times and he hasn’t at all... I don’t know what to do... I’ve brought it to his attention and he says he is cumming but I know he isn’t I would feel it ..

Update Response to comments: my doctor said we can have kids I will have to be put on lovenox and continue to take baby aspirin each day.. I also have a unicornuate uterus ( half uterus ) right active side left there’s nothing there .. so unless we catch my ovulation right on time we’re not getting pregnant naturally.... we will need help otherwise... I try to reassure him when I’m ovulating do we don’t do anything those days.. but nope still nothing .. he had told me he is afraid to lose me... and we agree that if it’s life for me or our baby then he is to choose me... what good am I if I’m not here for our baby?? When being a mother is what I dream of so dearly... then we will look into surrogacy if need be.. I think the thought period of it being health risk makes him scared so he just doesn’t but he won’t tell me.. so I’m stuck wondering and having all these thoughts by myself... and feeling like he doesn’t want me in that way.. fully... I don’t want half of him I want all of him,. I try to explain that if I didn’t cum for him and if I say oh baby yes I think I came ? Or I came and he knows full and well that I didn’t as a man he’d feel like shit... and be upset about it ..