I’m a first time mom and had my baby a little over 6 months ago. I’m a young mom (24 years old). I adore my baby. I love being a mom. But this shit is hard!

Before I had my baby I struggled with many issues including depression and anxiety. I believe a lot of it stems from my childhood (ive never gotten any help from it). I couldn’t work, I always felt bad about myself for that. So I decided to work from home! But I still felt like a loser because I wasn’t a “normal” person going out and working. I haven’t reached a lot of my goals and I’m not a typical 24 year old that has her life together.

My fiancé works a lot, so I’m always home alone with the baby and he’s always tired from work that he can’t really help me. I mean the odd time he does, but it’s not that often. We don’t even spend time together because when he’s home he’s off doing his own thing. So really I feel alone. I planned to start working again 2 months ago, but nothing went as planned because of how I’ve been feeling...which makes me feel even worse!!! We are tight on money and once I start working I know everything is going to be better financially. My fiancé told me it’s okay I can work when I’m ready, but I feel very frustrated that my daughter isn’t sleeping enough for me to feel rested enough to work.

I’m always exhausted, my daughter has frequent wakings during the night, and I’m the type of person that NEEDS a lot of sleep. More than the typical 8 hours. But at night, I’m wide awake on my phone for a few hours. All day I lay in bed or on the couch. I rarely ever get dressed (always in pjs) and when I do it’s just sweats. I shower once a week, mostly because I feel like I don’t have time, but when I do I would rather lay down or be on my phone. I’m having trouble keeping up with the house. Some days I’m extremely motivated and want to get a lot done, but only end up doing one or two things. Then the next day it’s like everything is a mess again. I struggle with frequently cooking. We eat out a lot, simply because I have no motivation to get up and cook and I’m exhausted. I never want to go anywhere really. Especially with my daughter (I get worried and stressed...what if she cries? What if she’s hungry? Etc.) When my daughter wakes up in the morning, I’m always way too tired to get out of bed. I still do it for her, but I’m struggling throughout the day. Because of the exhaustion, I hardly eat, which I believe makes me feel worse. I’m also very unhappy with my body. Breastfeeding is taking all the fat from my body and I have no figure anymore. My fiancé’s favourite asset about me is gone (my bum). I just feel insecure. I feel sick all the time (heads, dizzy), I feel down a lot. Just sad. And exhausted!!!

Anything you can recommend that could help me get out of this rut I’m in and start getting more motivated and feeling more rested? Do you have any tips that could help once I start working again? When did you feel ready to start working again?