Just need to vent...

It’s been about 14 months since my first MC (have had a couple of chemicals) and I just feel like total shit. Last cycle was 41days and I’m now up to 43 with this cycle and still no sign of AF and no BFP 😭😭

We’re waiting to hear back about our fertility checkup results so I don’t know exactly what is wrong yet.

But the worst thing is that my man just doesn’t get exactly how hard it is for me. So many of you ladies will know exactly what I’m talking about, being the statistic that can’t manage to work their main biological imperative out right!!! Every cycle is heartbreaking but I have this handy yet ultimately dangerous coping mechanism... I can just switch it all off, and I have, numbness seems to be the preferable option when the alternative is to go through the pain alone.

It’s hard when your SO is a non-talker. When I had the MC he was there for me at the hospital but never delved too deep with the conversation, we came home and I cried alone in our bed and he didn’t ask me again if I was ok. Now me being a considerate type, I always try to put myself in others’ shoes, so I asked him a few times over the following week or so how he was doing with it all. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no malice in how he is, he’s just clueless cos his parents did a shit job of raising their only child to be able to socialise or actually carry on a conversation that didn’t just sit on the surface.

I’ve just attempted so many ways of making things better, easier, but I’m just out of ideas..