I am currently only 8 weeks so I still have plenty of time to think about this but I wanted some opinions! My husband and I have talked about this before while ttc. So here’s some back story:

He really does not like his grandma at all. She was physically and emotionally abusive to his mom growing up. She’s very nasty and awful in comments, actions, etc. Grandma constantly needs all attention to be focused on herself or she will cause a scene to get it. My husband didn’t want us to invite her to our wedding but I said he had to for his mom’s sake. I have asked him before if he would ever want his future kids to have anything to do with her and he says no not at all. I have told him if that’s the case, then i don’t think it’s fair of me to invite her to my shower and ask for a gift for a child she’ll never be around and he agreed don’t invite her. I know this will upset his mom as she still dotes on his grandma and still does everything for her she asks. I have told him before that when I do start planning for a shower, that he’ll have to be the one to have that talk with his mom. I want to support him in cutting out this toxic woman from perpetuating her behaviors with our child, but I also don’t want to have to deal with his mom. Any advice?