So I am 26 weeks pregnant and I had taken the glucose test and blood taken last week and found out my numbers were very high- I was prepared to have gestational diabetes again (had it with my son as well + diabetes is hereditary in my family so I know I can be boarder line). With my son I was able to control it with just my diet so I didn’t feel it was such a big deal... I found out Monday that it’s not gonna be the same with my daughter... They wanted me to start insulin right away and man was I terrified of the thought of having to stick myself with a needle every day... I had a small breakdown... and I had to really think of why I was so emotional about it...

Backstory- my father was diabetic for as long as I could remember. I can just picture him pulling out his vial of insulin and syringes with the orange lids and giving himself the shots in his thighs/stomach.. he used to joke and laugh about it like it wasn’t a big deal to make us kids feel better. His smile always did that ❤️ I remember around 8-9 years old being scared for him having to handle the needle and he turned it into being able to teach me about what he was doing, and even asked if I wanted to give him his shot(I was to worried I would mess it up so no way lol) but he explained his body couldn’t keep up with breaking down the sugars so this was to help him. I remember scary episodes when he didn’t get his shots on time and his blood sugar levels went thru the roof, hospital stays, and so much more. Before my dad had passed away little over 6 months ago it got bad enough to where insulin wasn’t enough for his body and he had to do dialysis... and missing his treatments before he passed was really bad...

So after awhile I realized I wasn’t so scared of the having to take shots.. it had to do with my dad. When the diabetic dietician pulled out a vial of insulin and syringe to show me the different options of what I’ll end up taking - I was slapped was sudden flashbacks of my dad through out the years and as much as I have grieved and will always for him- it was like someone ripped a bandaid off a fresh wound- I keep thinking oh god every time I give myself a shot it’s pulling it off again... I miss him so much & it hurts so badly.

But I was able to take my first shot. And I will do whatever I need to for my baby 💕 I will make it thru this. In retrospect my day prepared me for this, to already have an understanding and know that it will help my body have what it needs for me and my little girl.

(Also- I had no clue they make pens now- I was worried but it didn’t even hurt and they look less scary lol)