Buckle Up Bitches -Anal

So some background...last year I was the perfect pillow princess, missionary style wife. We needed more in our sex life and I was like...

But yanno a girls got to make her husband happy so I’m over here like spank me, pull my hair, choke me and the hubs is like

Anyway I’ve come a long way from I’m never doing anal to getting my asshole fingered and I’m like

Anyways last night I was all feeling brave and freaky and I’m like just put it in! And my husband is like

So he’s going at it and I’m like “harder, faster” and then we finish. Well I’d like to tell you all that I did NO research. Not a damn thing because he pulls out and I let out the biggest fart of my life and poop goes flying and my husband is like

I’m screaming and crying and running to the bathroom with poop coming out the whole time! I’m sobbing and hubs is over there like

I’m screaming because my butthole feels like it’s huge and I’m terrified it’s never going to close back up. There’s shit all over the room and my husband can’t breathe because he’s laughing so hard.

THEN my mother in law calls because my kid doesn’t want to stay the night anymore and I have to go pick up my baby and make small talk with my husbands momma and my asshole feeling like the size of a fucking donut!

Always do your homework kids!