I don't like talking about my feelings. I don't really have any one to talk to except my babe n prima but I feel like I'm really losing it. I want to be a Mamá more than anything in this world! I was hanging out with my primas this weekend n one of them has custody of her little brother. So we're talking catching up on lost time n my primo who is 7 comes to the kitchen where my primas n I are at n he looked at my prima that has custody of him n he says "when are we going to spend some time together, I really want to hang out n be with yu sissy" n my prima told him something. Honestly to me time felt like it stopped. N I'm doing everything I can to make myself be ok n not cry. My other prima looks at me n asks me why I got sad n I said "I really wish that God would let me be the only thing I want in life. I really wish I had both of my babies I miscarried or allow me to get pregnant. I want to have my lil human come n say Mamá when can yu come hang out with me." I trip out on how much it hurts me to do a pregnancy test n it be negative. I don't cry but wanting to be a Mamá is amazing how much it hurts to want something so bad n beg God to bless me with a baby that is healthy n I can feel the miracle of watching my pansa grow, to hear my baby's heartbeat, to feel it kick. I have never wanted anything more in my life! I don't want to be rich have a huge house. I only want to be a Mamá. I found who I love n want to spend my life with all that is missing is having a baby. Please from the bottom of my heart say a prayer to God to bless us with a baby. I'm a Mamá to my baby angels in heaven but I want to be one here. I want to have a baby n watch it grow loving n serving God n get to say I made this. All I see are pregnant women or ladies with there baby's so happy n I want that to be me. I will be happy to deal with morning sicknesses n everything that comes with being pregnant if God gives me that chance. My baby would be loved beyond measure n belief. I am just asking please say a prayer for my babe n I n I am for everyone of yu. God bless everyone who's trying n those who are pregnant!