Having a really hard time today

Life is always giving me a hell of a time. As if being diabetic depressed anxious and being poor with a preemie baby wasn't already hard enough. Bills haven't gotten paid we don't have food we're running out of formula i have to pay for prescription refills soon we have to pay back rent soon. I'm struggling really hard not to self harm or let myself just die and I can't bring myself to call for help. I'm too afraid and I don't know what to do