I fucking hate that you didn't choose me! I hate that you chose me to mother your child but not the one to marry. (I love my child fyi. I'm not mad about having her). I told you what I'd been through and you still played with my emotions. You refuse to apologize and it's hard to watch this other woman bond with my daughter. No I don't feel insecure or upset with her but I still deeply hate you for making this mess!

Then to call me a whore and someone with no class hurt!! I mean I do have 3 kids by 3 men but I don't sleep around and I never have!! I can name all of my sexual partners and relationships. Not that any of that matters!!! If you felt the way you feel why choose to have a child with me? Meanwhile you have fathered 3 other children 1 (8 months before our daughter) and 2(twins) only 3 months after and your wife doesn't know. If I can count correctly you have 4 by 3! You only took responsibility of our daughter because I put you on child support (I just learned about the kids myself)...

I want this hurt to go away. I've met a great man and we are taking it REALLY SLOW but when I see you my heart always skips and beat and I can't seem to catch my breath! He doesn't know this and I'llbe damned if I miss out on someone wonderful for me(I'm too fucking forgiving because since our daughter has been born you're always so mean to me! The nerve of you to try and tell me to give my daughter to you so you and your wife can raise her. You telling your wife I told you I would give you full custody when in fact I never said that!)So I don't like talking to you. When I do I have to make it seems like I have an attitude so the conversation is kept short but really deep down I miss you and still want you. I'm still not sure why. It could be that I never had a chance to see how things would've panned out between us or when we met I was ready for love after having failed 2x already! So I desired love and affection and you gave me that! I took time to heal myself especially after leaving a verbally abusive relationship and stress of being with someone but being alone. I feel like you have a hold on my heart! I'm ready to let go and don't know how. You called me temptation and I haven't the slightest clue what that means but I'm done with you. I'm tired of your wife being mean and rude to me because you talk shit about me to everyone! I'm tired of the drama! I want my heart to heal so I can learn how to love the man back who so deeply loves me! (I know it isn't fair to have a man pursue me who doesn't know I still have feelings for someone else but to be 100% honest here, He is still getting over his ex wife. So again we're taking things crazy slow)

I accept that I'll never get closure but how do I let you go?

Oh and I wish you would stop lying and saying you've been with your wife for 10 years! The truth is... You've worked with her for 10 years and had only begun dating her just months before you and I met and you rushed and married her before she found out about our daughter so she wouldn't leave!

I have every reason to dislike you but I always melt when I hear your name! I don't know why I still care for you or about you!