I lost my virginity at 18.

At the time I was suicidal, I had just gotten kicked out of am abusive home, and my papaw died.

I was living with my boyfriend in a really shitty, narcissistic and abusive relationship.

At one point we were making out, and he was fingering me. I'm not sure when, but at some point during this he had gotten his basketball shorts down and was rubbing himself against me, and then he bit me really hard and I tensed up, and he used that as an excuse to put it in.

I'm quiet and have really bad anxiety etc so after my initial shock I just stopped and let it all happen.

Then continued a two year relationship with someone who continually called me a whore and accused me of not even being a virgin the day he stole that from me.

Idk if that's really rape, or just my fault for not being careful enough. But it's two years of my life I will never not regret.