I don't even know how to start. My mom and her sister both got pregnant in high sc school at 16. Got kicked out and emancipated. Mom moved in with my dad mom it was really hard for her. She said that they all only had 1 car to share for work and stuff. Raising mb e my dad was in and out of jail and said no one would help her. She said she would sell her self for money and steal.she said she was raped,beaten, and held captive. When I was 9 my dad and my mom got on meth she said she would want to kill herself but that it would be selfish to me. She went away several times. She said she tried to get clean so many times and make my room up for my e so I would come home. I went to live at her mom's. Wasn't that fun. She told she only could get clean when she asked God. On Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">eve</a> my dad committed suicide. My mom told he had been saying that he would to her but thought he would be okay bc he was with his mom but his mom wanted to go down the road to smoke dope and she didn't want him to go. The last thing he texted her was I'm going to hang myself bye. Abd she showed her dad and asked if they should go over their but they decided not too bc his mon was their. Then she got a call from my dad brother saying he had found him. Things went okay for a really long time. We moved back on with her mom and dad and they would charge us a lot of rent and would always fight. a few weeks after that my mom brought home a guy. He was 19 at the time and she was 30. I was disgusted. I remembered him from when my mom was on drugs they were locked in a room together doing drugs so I put knifes through the door to make her stop. Their still their.Me and him would always fight over everything. He would call me a bunch of names and sometimes our fights would get physical. My gems house flooded so we moved back to out old house where we lived with dad. The fighting continued. We had one bad physical fight so I moved out into my gemas. Me and my mom were really upset that we were away from each other so she got me a camper so I wouldn't have to see him.me and my mom are so close we have been together through everything. We would do anything for each other. We love eachother more than anything in the world. We slept in the same bed until I was 14 when we weren't apart. We would tell eachother everything and be their for eachother through everything.my mom told me that she has to ask God to forgive her every time she prays for loving me more than him.for the last few months I've finally been happy and felt like we had our shit together and everything was good. I got my driving permit my homesmeschooling was good.boyfriend moved in with me.my mom says people prolly think shes crazy for letting me live in a camper in her yard with a bf but that she just wants me happy. I got a job at sonic.my moms job was working for home health care taking care of my grandma. She died 2 weeks ago.a few days ago my mom picked me up from sonic and told me she was 1 to 2 weeks pregnant. I started balling and got out of the car went back to sonic crying sat again the wall trying to call my friends mom to pick me up I had to call her school and tell her to call her mom for me.got picked up crying horridly.she gave me 2 zanexs. Met my mom at the store went home first thing I did was pop 30 sleeping pills.i wasn't thinking. I would have dreams abt her being pregnant. It's one of my biggest fears. I don't even talk to her bf what am I supposed to do cut the baby out of my life too.my bf found me mom drove me to the er.of course they didn't do anything but told me to wait for a psych evaluation.got their at 9 it's now 3. We left I was fine.still in shock and disbelief. My mom told me that her worst fear is losing me and that much worse things can happen to me throughout my life. And I knew that I just didn't care at the time.she told me she wouldn't love the other baby as much as she loves me.ill hate myself if she loves it less or more than me.its always been me and my mom I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I know I seem and sound so selfish but I can't it hurts me so bad and I'm so scared abt what's going to happen.i hate myself for putting g my mom through so much that she doesn't deserve. After all shes been through she deserves to be so happy. But she says she can't be happy unless I'm happy and I just feel so depressed and scared right now.she also just told me they found cancer cells in her lady parts idk where but that they wont take it out unless she has more than 1 kid or is over 35. I can deal with a baby and my feelings if it means I can keep my mom. But I know how hard it is going to be on us.my mind and body is so drained from everything I have been through so I know hers is.right now things are even worse. I didn't call in sick so I lost my job and my mom went to the doctor yesterday and has the flue so were prolly all goin to get it. I have the feeling is my stomach that feels like your goin down a rollercoaster that wont go away. I just hope things work out.and she gets to be happy she deserves to be. That our relationship only gets stronger and that God hears me and is here for us.