Feel like a failure

I feel like I'm failing myself, my baby I'm pregnant with and my health. I've had so many barriers this pregnancy that I forget to test my blood sugar, my blood pressure. And definitely not eating like I should I crave so many unhealthy foods i feel like I'm hurting my health and the baby's life. When I was pregnant with my twins i kept up on everything. But now I'm still dealing with the loss of my father all these first with out him is hard. First it was Christmas and Halloween, bus birthday jus passed, now Easter and he won't be here to see the first out of 9 grand children born. My mom's had 2 surgerys in a month or so and another family member had a mild heart attack and needed surgery. I'm so stressed I'm going back to work tommorow after a month off since I was helping my mom and since I was having really bad pain that doctor said was round ligament so I just took time off to relax. I love this baby to death how can I change everything? I'm 22 weeks today need to shape up but how?