Double trouble ?

Last week I posted about being nervous about getting pregnant because I’m recently divorced and come from a religious background . I already spent so much time beating my self about the possibility of getting pregnant and having sex out of wedlock even if I took the necessary precautions not to conceive.

And then it happened

My new partner and I decided that it would be best to terminate as its sooo early and life would get complicated if we had a baby now .

I went for the scan today and we discovered that it’s twins .

How many things could go wrong in such a short period of time ? Now that we found out that it’s twins we don’t want to terminate anymore .

I’m so afraid of the humiliation and shame as I’ve only slept with my ( now ex husband) never believed in sex before marriage and now here I am , 4 months after my divorce , pregnant with twins. If I didn’t have a son in my previous marriage , dealing with my ex’s shock ( and probably hectic backlash ) would have been better , but I have to think about maintaining a good relationship with my sons father and ex in laws .

I can’t believe I let things get this far with my new man as we were only getting to know one another when we bonded .

I’m even afraid to pray about this because I feel like I’m not even worthy of Gods mercy .

I don’t know what to do . Keep the babies or continue with the termination ? 💔💔💔💔