⚠️WARNING DARK⚠️ I just need to say it

I think I was almost raped. I’m only 15 years old. I looked up the legal definition of rape and I wasn’t raped. I need to put this story out somewhere into the universe and not keep dwelling on it. I was at this guys house and we were watching a movie. We made out a little which was fine. But then he started to slide one of his hands in my pants. I asked him what he was doing doing and he said he wanted to put one in (his fingers) I told him no and pushed his hand away. But then he tried to do it again. At this point I grabbed his hand and pushed him away with all my strength. But since I’m a very small girl and he’s very strong and big, I was losing in this fight. I started to repeat no no no no no over and over desperate for him to stop. He said please just let me put one in, just one. As he tries to grab both my hands with one of his in order to stop me from holding him back. At this point I started to panic very hard begging him to stop that I didn’t want this. Thankfully, he stopped. I was putting up too much of a fight. But instead he pulled his *thing* out of his pants and forced my hands onto it. I couldn’t fight hard this way since he was stronger pulling than pushing. But he continued to forcefully make me give him a hand job. I told him no, again, and tries to pull away which I couldn’t. I was finally able to get away by finishing the job so he would relax his strength giving me the opportunity to run from the scene. I feel too embarrassed to talk to any of my friends about this. I’ll be seeing him at school and we have mutual friends. He’s usually a sweet guy but something came over him that night letting loose the worse in him. So I don’t want to talk to him ether making him feel bad. There was probably more I could of done. This can be a warning to others, if you are uncomfortable with a situation let that person know very clearly and fight back or leave as soon as possible before things can escalate. Don’t let the panic and shock shake you up. Be safe everyone❤️