Big brother problems

My brother is 9 years older than me. We were really close when I was little, he was my idol, we did a ton of things together and I never wanted to not be around him. Our parents divorced when he was 16, our dad was mentally and emotionally abusive to our mom and then one day it got physical and she said "keep everything, my car, my clothes, our pictures, everything, but we aren't going to drag our kids through court, they will know that both their parents love and support them. So every week I was sent back and forth but my brother stayed with my dad because dad told him pick one or the other and bought him a truck. My brother got married and he no longer wanted anything to do with me. It was heartbreaking to me. My brother was a god to little me and I couldn't understand why he no longer cared about me. The marriage lasted about three months, he spiralled into depression and mom and I were cooking his meals, mom worked 2 jobs and was a full time student so she wouldn't need any help from dad but she started paying my brothers bills. Things got worse and worse with my brother. His second marriage just ended and he and his 2 sons live with my dad and stepmom. His now ex was a monster. She was cheating on him and he was so desperately trying to make it work he was sleeping on the floor of her bfs living room, and her bf was making drugs. My brother now has substance addictions and severe depression and suicidal tendencies. He's gone to the game reserve inebriated at least twice with a gun and the intention to kill himself. He won't talk to me at all, pretends I don't exist, i drove 2 hours to visit our family for our grandfather's 80th birthday party. He refused to get his sons or to come see our grand parents. I'm angry, I'm sad. Thinking of him there's still that "hes my big brother and he's the best" feeling still lingering. He was smart and popular, athletic and handsome while I've always been a short fat nerdy social outcast with anxiety and depression. I don't want my brother to feel like I do. And I feel like he isn't talking to me now especially because my 7 year marriage is still going and we just had our second child and things are good. But for a long time they weren't. We had a lot of bad spots where I really wish I had my brother there. He's to the point where he's overdosing and he needs help and no one is getting it for him. I'm going to lose my brother, and idk what to do or even how to feel. He's my brother but for 10 years he's been a complete stranger