Last week, I suffered my first ever miscarriage. My husband and I have been ttc for 6 months and we’re elated so see that positive pregnancy test!! I suppose the silver lining is that the miscarriage happened very early on I haven’t had any complications thus far.

My brain understands the positives, I logically know that there was likely something fundamentally wrong with the pregnancy but heart is having a really hard time. I have had 4 successful pregnancy in a previous relationship and this is such a shock. I mean we all know it’s a possibility but I was just unprepared.

I’m all over the place. I feel grateful it wasn’t 6 months from now, I’m sad to suffer a loss, I’m angry that maybe my body let us down, I feel inadequate for not being able to hang on to the pregnancy.....

Now as it approaches a time for us to try again, I’m terrified. I don’t want to ever experience that again. I also want to have a baby more than anything. I’m so sick of hearing how fun it is to try and get pregnant, because it’s really not. It’s stressful and exhausting when you actually have to work at it! I don’t really have anyone to be that honest with, so I thought I would just leave this here and hopefully someone will understand.