Feeling drained...

First time mum.

Working full time.

Wake up at 5am to walk the dog.

From 5am -10:30pm: working/cleaning/feeding my child/bathing my child/running around after my child/walk dog in the evening with bub in the pram/put bub to sleep - this is the minimal of my routine every day.

Husband works long hours.

Husband is burnt out from work and is depressed. Doesn’t do much to help out.

Mother in law is a fkn toxic nightmare and is also depressed and a scatter brain. I don’t trust her to look after my child.

Father in law is going into remission and about to undertake aggressive chemo.

My mum has high anxiety and no empathy for others. She is extremely needy and needs constant attention.

I stay strong for everyone.

No one hears me when I say I’m struggling.

No one cares when I tell them I’m feeling anxious.

No one wants to know that I’m depressed too.

I feel so alone in my own mind day in day out. I’m so drained. I don’t have time for me. Neither does anyone else.

I sit alone and cry. Telling myself that I’m being selfish for feeling sad when I have so much in my life. A husband, a child, a dog, a house, a car, a job and friends.

I’m so drained...