UPDATE. IS IT NEGATIVE?. I’m nervous I could be pregnant 😭😩

I just need to vent. My period was supposed to come yesterday but it’s still no show.. I’m on birth control and have been over a year. I took my placebo pills starting monday and I always get my period on the fourth day of placebos but today is now the fifth day. I haven’t tested yet but I’m gonna test in two hours.

I’m about to graduate college in May and I wanted to have my life figured out before having children. The father (if I turn out to be pregnant) isn’t even my boyfriend, we just mess around but he’s a good guy although idk how he’s gonna react if I am pregnany. I’m afraid of what he’s gonna say and of what everyone else is gonna say. I know for my family it’ll be the biggest disappointment I could give them. They’re religious and would have liked me getting married before having any children.

I’ve woken up twice this morning.. I can’t sleep because I’m so nervous. I’m also 22 and will be 23 later this year, so I’m not exactly super young to be a mother but I don’t have my shit together and I wanted to have my shit together before having a baby. I’ve always felt like a failure because of the things I haven’t accomplished that I should’ve accomplished by now. I don’t have a job lined up, I still don’t have a license or my own car but maybe the baby is what I need to push me to get to where I wanna be in life. I’m not ready for a baby but I want to be a good mother and a good example for my kid.

Anyway, thank you for reading this. I just needed to let it out.

Update:

Here are some pictures of my test. It looks negative to me but idk. Itll be two weeks on saturday/Sunday since I had sex (we had sex both days). So I think it should be accurate by now?