I want my ex back, but I’m sure he doesn’t want me back I’m so hurt

Me and my ex dated three years ago, but stayed in contact, always saw each other. Yesterday he made a post that he was moving soon, and it broke my heart. For the past two months I’ve been blowing him off, not seeing him, trying to get over him. But when I saw that all that went out the window when he texted me last night to come over watch a movie basically. I asked him “why do you still message me when I say leave me alone” and he said “that’s love, because I love you, and I been thinking about you and I missed you and I know you love me” and I do. I just can’t keep doing this back and forth, I don’t want to see him with anybody else but this hurts. I can’t even fully talk to someone because of him, I can’t trust anyone or anything. All my relationships, FAIL because of this and it’s my fault but I don’t know what to do. Because he doesn’t want to be with me, we’ve had the convo months ago. But I tell him to leave me alone, I’ll stop talking for months and he just keeps messaging me. It’s like I want to text him really telling him how I feel, how I can’t keep doing this but its like why bother because do they even care?

Should I send a text? Idk if I need closure or what. Months passed and I thought I didn’t need it.