Where did 9 years go?

I guess I’ll post here because who else will I tell or vent to?

I have been with my husband 9 years now ,4 years married. I have been feeling that we are so distant now, in our relationship. Like, we are together but not mentally. He’s a great provider , he works long hours and everyday. I also work a 40 hour job and always with our kids after work. I run around with my son and his baseball activities. I am always trying to keep them busy, going to parks etc...

he’s a passive aggressive type of guy, he doesn’t like to argue or go back and forth but he’s also a type to drift away and I hate it. How can I be with someone and feel absolutely nothing at times? Sometimes I don’t care if he comes home, sometimes I’m pissed because he doesn’t. Sometimes I get so caught up with my kids that I don’t even notice that he comes home.

I told him that I am tired of fighting for his attention, he’s just a lost case. We barely have sex, and when we do lately, I just want it to be over because I am so tired and know that I have a busy day the next day. We have just lost chemistry. His mind is just else where. . I try to plans things like a weekend getaway for us but he just doesn’t seem interested. I don’t think he is cheating but maybe he’s feeling the same way, this routine that we get caught up in.

Idk, I feel like our marriage is at a standstill. I don’t even care anymore, it’s like, I don’t have feelings anymore. I don’t even know .

Anyone else?