They say women are hard to figure out!

My dh has no children. He is soon to be 36. I have 3, from ages 1-15 & he has been the dad to my youngest from 6 mo, bc her donor basically left me soon as I got pregnant.

Anyways. We got married for the sole purpose of TTC!! We both believed we should be married before having a baby. He has DREAMED of having a kid since he was 12! And I have known him since he was born & always knew this.

When we started dating, I told him to find a younger woman w no kids, bc I was done. He said it didn’t matter, he loved me. Eventually, he talked me into it. Now I have baby fever like no other. We have been ttc for over a year.

I got a prescription for femara. When I told him about it, he said if God wanted us to have a baby, we would. So I didn’t take it the first month. Up came my fertile window, & he started pulling out!!!! That’s not “taking a break”! We are basically infertile going a year & being over 35...

We talk. He says he thinks I really don’t want one & it’s just him. We try again. I take the femara against his wishes, bc he told me he really did want a baby. And I don’t wanna keep wasting time.

Before we married & the first 3 mo we tried, it is ALL he talked about. Non stop. He stopped smoking, took a handful of vitamins, had an SA done after 5 mo..

Now all he says is comments about how I’m too old. Or how we have too much stress. Always a comment, that makes me believe he doesn’t want this. I said for him to get snipped & be DONE, but he said he wanted a baby one day. WTH. I know he is prob just too scared to tell me bc he knows I want a baby w my love now... What changed his mind!? My hormones are raging now from the meds & I just wanna cry bc I don’t want to have another baby w a man who doesn’t really want it.

I don’t know why I’m putting this out there. I guess just bc I have no one else to talk to. He didn’t want to tell anyone about us ttc bc he tried for 13 yrs w his ex & nothing.. & he hated everyone always weighing in on it.